Do any of you know that email that went around awhile back?  It was titled Just for Today…let me see if I can dig it up and I will post it at the bottom of this note.

That is my inspiration today.  Today I’m going to get the kids from school…we’re going to go do fun stuff.  Yes, homework is still important…but just for today we’re going to go do the fun stuff…we’ll do homework while we stay up late..and we’ll eat popcorn while we’re doing it.  Why?

Because I’ve realized that I’m the mom.  I can do what I want…and it doesn’t always have to be what society dictates.  Make your beds before school, feed the dog, do your homework, pick up your dirty socks, put the toilet lid down so the dog doesn’t get poisoned by toilet bowl cleaner, always say Please and Thank You.

I feel like I’m running a small country and I’m the nasty dictator.  I’m always frustrated and angry.  Then today…I realized something.  I really miss my grandparents.  Why do I miss them?  Well besides the obvious fact that I loved them very much and they transcend everything I believe to be wonderful in this world…that’s the kind of people they were.

You could have a fudge pop before dinner…you could make hot chocolate on a 90 degree day…you could rummage through grandpas garage to find things to make play houses out of and even though he grumbled he would sit down on the swing and drink your pretend tea.  They never ran out of chocolate pudding.  This is why they made fantastic parents.  This is why they made the best grandparents.

I’m sure, as I do almost daily, my dad wonders what he could have done right or even done better as a parent.  I’m sure he wishes he could have just taken a mental health day and picked us up and gone to the ice cream shop if he could have afforded it.  He didn’t have that luxury…but I do, and yet I do nothing with it.

I work 3 days week..nights actually so there is nothing in my way.  I make personal excuses to myself as to why I can’t…dishes, laundry, the vacuuming, the dusting, the house might somehow burn down.

When did I become this person?  When did I become the type of parent that could never bring herself to do something just for the fucking hell of it, because I want to.  I’m 31 years old…I’m a grown up (most of the time) I live on my own, I work a full time job…and I love my kids more than anything else in my realm of comprehension.

When did this all happen?  Trust me..I used to be the life of the party.  I loved anything and everything fun.

For some reason I had to get this out and hopefully for the few moms that are out there and reading…you’ll want to be the fun mom for today too.  There is nothing wrong with skipping homework once and grabbing a Happy Meal to eat at the park and not come home until dark.

You have one childhood…it’s over…was it everything it could have been?  Maybe, maybe not.  You are one parent…you can choose to make your kids have the kind of childhood that they look back on and think “You know what…she was a hard ass, she ran a tight ship, and she was bat-shit crazy sometimes, but my mom was the best”.

It’s one day.  Out of an unknown number.  How are you going to spend it?

Here is the poem.  It’s long but hopefully it will stick with you.

Just For Today

Just for this morning,
I am going to smile when I see your face…
and laugh when I feel like crying.

Just for this morning,
I will let you wake up softly in your flannel p.j.’s…
and hold you until you are ready to stir.

Just for this morning,
I will let you choose what you want to wear…
and I will say how beautiful you are.

Just for this morning,
I will step over the laundry to pick you up…
and take you to the park to play

Just for this morning,
I will leave the dishes in the sink…
and let you teach me how to put your puzzle together.

Just for this afternoon,
I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off…
and sit with you in the garden
blowing bubbles.

Just for this afternoon,
I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you
scream and whine for the ice cream truck…
and I will buy you one, if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon,
I won’t worry about what you are going to be
when you grow up…
I  will simply love you for the joy you bring me

Just for this afternoon,
I will let you help me make cookies…
and I wont stand over you . . .  trying to ‘fix things.’

Just for this afternoon,
I will take you to McDonald’s and buy us both a ‘Happy Meal’…
so you can have two toys.

Just for this evening,
I will hold you in my arms and tell you the story of how you
were born…
and how much we love you.

Just for this evening,
I will let you splash in the bathtub…
and I won’t get angry when you pour water over your sister’s
head.

Just for this evening,
I will let you stay up late…
while we sit on the porch swing
and count all the stars.

Just for this evening,
I will bring you glasses of water…
and snuggle beside you for hours…
and miss my favorite t.v. show.

And tonight when you are sleeping safe and warm in your bed,
I will think of the mothers and fathers
who mourn for the children they have lost.

I will remember the parents who sit by hospital beds,
watching over the little ones they love.

I will weep for those parents whose children are cold,
hungry and suffering,

and …. this evening,
when I  kneel down to pray,
I will simply be grateful for all that I have

and not ask for anything…

except  just one more day.